


Just the three of us

by bitten



Category: En Forelskelse (Awakening), Generation Kill
Genre: Abandoned Fic, M/M, Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:53:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4444223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitten/pseuds/bitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hmmm...three hot guys have a fucked up relationship, medical emergency, h/c, nobody dies<br/>Carsten has a fucked up past that's alluded to, this has nothing to do with Held Hostage though</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just the three of us

**Author's Note:**

> Another dead end with an unsatisfactory end (as in, the plot bunny decided to ditch me)   
> unbeta'd, so typos and stupid ideas are all my fault  
> pure fiction, never met these people (or the actors that portrayed them and never will...which is really kinda sad for me)  
> I really shouldn't be allowed to post things

Nate froze as soon as he heard it, a low, quiet sound, but a sob nonetheless. He'd been afraid of this since the whole thing had first came up.  
"Brad, stop." He automatically used his authoritative, Lt voice. Brad responded immediately.  
"Wha...what's wrong?"  
"Carsten?"  
"I'm fine." The boy didn't sound fine.  
"What's wrong?" Brad demanded.   
"Nothing, don't stop. I'm fine."  
"He's not," Nate was firm.   
"I am."  
"No you're not, I could tell Carsten-"  
"What the fuck is wrong? Carsten, are you ok?" And then, after half a heartbeat of complete silence all around. "Nate? What is it? Tell me."  
"He's...not ok. We need to stop."  
"No we don't, I'm fine-"  
"You are not fine, goddammit-"  
"Both of you shut up," and they both did, because when Brad told you to shut up, especially when he was getting agitated, even if you were his former CO, or his twink-lover who could get away with anything...well, you shut the fuck up. Brad took a slow, deep breath before speaking.  
"Nate, why did we stop?" Brad's voicce was Iceman calm.  
"He's..." Nate reached up, cupped Carsten's cheek and met the boys clear, grey eyes. I'm sorry, he thought, but not really. "He's not alright with this...I don't know Brad, but he's...something's wrong, I could tell by the way he looked...and the sounds he made..." What he meant was, I can feel something is wrong but I don't know how to say it. And Brad understood, just like Nate had know he would.  
"Carsten..." Brad's voice was low, gruff and....full of emotion that he didn't usually let the world...or anybody...know he could feel. He already had one hand resting on the boys hip. He dropped the other on the back of Carsten's head, feeling his soft hair. Brad put his mouth against his ear. "Are you ok?"  
Carsten was still looking Nate in the eye, Nate's hand still wrapped lovingly against his cheek. And Nate saw it, as soon as Brad spoke, something in him, he could fucking see it, watch it in the young hustlers eyes, it just...broke....shattered...and suddenly the boy was shaking, his lips trembling as he tried to force back tears.  
"Untie him," Nate's words were firm, but unnescessary. Brad was already pulling the knots out.  
"I'm fine..." Carsten insisted. "I am...I...I'm ok...I don't..." he made some more noise after that but the words were lost in his tears as he tried to curl in on himself. Brad and Nate shared a look...confused, a bit shocked, but still knowing...and then both of them were wrapping themselves around the boy, hands caressing as they tried to soothe, rubbing, patting, stroking his hair as he moaned and shook and the words blended into each other.  
"It's ok..."  
"Get it out..."  
"You're safe..."  
"Don't worry"  
"We'll take care of you..."  
"...baby..."

 

It didn't take them all that long to get Carsten settled down, he was embarrassed, he tried to make it up to them, but soon he was asleep, tucked in between them both.  
"It was a bad idea. We shouldn't have even tried it." Brad was beating himself up about it, but Nate wasn't really willing to let him to take all the blame.  
"He...you're right, it wasn't a good idea...but he wanted to, Brad. He's just not ready."  
"He'll never be ready. We shouldn't have done it, Nate. Fuck." Brad was getting angry, and even though Nate knew that was his de facto response to most things that evoked an emotion out of him, he wanted to placate the blonde. It was both their fault, they should have put more thought into the whole thing, it was so obviously a bad choice.

Nate had never expected things to become...this. Once he and Brad had broken up, he had moved on. He had felt older, wiser, hurt...he loved Brad more than anyone, but it hadn't worked out and there was no need for either of them to keep torturing themselves. But they had stayed friends, tried, it was awkward and uncomfortable, for both of them, yet neither of them had really wanted to shove the other out ofhis life completely. And it had been easy when they lived on opposite sides of the country. Time and circumstance had brought Nate back to the west coast, and Brad, but Brad had moved on, which made it easier for Nate to move on and...it had been ok.  
For a long time he hadn't been comfortable with who Brad had finally decided to move on with, not that he didn't like Carsten, he had immediately, it was hard not to like the kid, but the whole situation had seemed...weird, at least when Nate analyzed it. But it worked, so Nate kept his mouth shut, and the fact that he and Brad could be real friends again, well, after the hurt had faded, that had meant everything to him. He had tried to deny it at first, the way he started looking at Carsten...the boy was young...he was a boy, for fuck's sake...and he was Brad's...and as Nate learned later, he had been through too much. For awhile Nate didn't know whether to be happy for them, or angry at Brad for seeminly taking advantage, even though he never really did. And then, when things had developed, when Nate was waking up, feeling warm and satiated...but then guilty as fuck...it had just been sex at first, but he still ended up feeling like shit about it, because now he was taking advantage too, right? And he was the odd man out, those two were in a relationship, he was just...he didn't even now...fuck, it taken awhile for it to all work itself out in his head.  
And now, somehow, it was the three of them...in an honest to god relationship, though Nate didn't think god would approve. Not that he believed in god, but just saying. But that's what it was, they lived together, they fucked each other...and they loved each other. Somehow Nate had found a place in this relationship, Brad said he was the piece that had been missing. Nate had stopped trying to understand it, it just worked. It might be completely fucked, but it worked. As fucekd as it all was, they had become some kind of weirdly functioning family, everyone's needs being met, everyone taken care of. They each fulfilled different needs for each other, things that would be neglected if it was just any two of them all the time. Brad was like the stern father, harsh at times, but loving in his own way, always dependable. Nate was the mom, he couldn't even deny that, but he couldn't stop himself from trying to fix every problem that came up, even if Brad was better at it some- ...ok, a lot of times. Carsten was their little love child, who was sweet and sensitive...he pulled all the seams together. It was not an arrangement Nate had ever expected, but to be honest, he couldn't imagine anything else. For the first time in his life he felt...whole.

 

The one thing Nate had never been able to reconcile himself with was Carsten's past. It was too fucked up, although, if he was honest, Carsten was the most put together of the three of them. He didn't try to work himself to death like Nate did, obsessing about every last detail whether it was in his control or not, trying to take responsibility for anything and everything that popped up even in his peripheral. And he wasn't anal retentive, like Brad, he didn't punish himself or rattle around his own head for days at a time and assume the smallest mistake he made would cost him everything he loved. Carsten was...calm, laid back, quick to smile, unafraid...he was too perfect. That's what had always scared Nate. Because one day, if they weren't careful, Carsten was going to crash and burn, and if they didn't stop that from happening it would be bad, maybe so bad he'd never come back. And that thought was the one that kept Nate up at night.

 

Nate had his own room, it was almost a given, he needed the office space. Carsten had his own room as well, at least in theory, Nate didn't think he'd ever know him to actually sleep there, he didn't even keep his stuff there, sometimes he did study there, although unless it was midterms or finals or he had big papers to work on, he did most of that in the living room or kitchen or his and Brad's room. And that's what it was, really, Brad and Carsten's room. a lot of times, they all slept there. Sometimes Carsten slept with Nate. Sometimes he slept in Nate's room while Nate spent the night with Brad, but that was in Brad and Carsten's room. Occasionally they all slept in Nate's room. It was always fluid.   
So Nate wasn't surprised when Carsten wanted to sleep in his room. The boy had been looking rather peakish for a couple days now, shrugging off any concerns, but it was obvious he was coming down with something. Midterms were over now, and he felt warm to the touch. Nate had insisted he go to sleep and asked where he wanted to lie down. For whatever reason, he wanted to sleep in Nate's bed, and that was fine. Nate tucked him in. It was still early, but they all had the weekend off, and Carsten would probably be fine in a day or so. Nate wasn't worried.  
Brad got home a couple hours later, and after Nate told him that Carsten was under the weather, had gone to check on him. He came back a few minutes later, they cooked and ate dinner. Carsten was asleep, so they put some leftovers aside for him. Brad had decided to make a soup, because sick people should eat soup, and Nate had chuckled.   
It was a couple hours later. Nate was tired of answering emails, Brad was absorbed in his Playstation3, so Nate had gone to check in on Carsten. He expected to find a sleeping Carsten, maybe a hungry one. He was wrong.  
Nate sat on the side of the bed. He just wanted to check on the boy, no need to wake him up, but when he put his palm on the boys cheek he was shocked by the heat he felt.  
"Carsten?"  
He got a whimper in reply.  
Nate put his hand on the boys shoulder. Carsten was laying on his side, his legs curled up, eyes closed but they were starting to flutter open.  
"Carsten? Are you ok?"   
The boy whimpered again, his head turning. "Nate?" his voice sounded thin and weak and Nate realized he was breathing hard.  
"What's wrong?"  
"It hurts..." Carsten's eyes were open to slits now, a glazed look in them. Nate saw the boy was sweating heavily. What the fuck? "Nate...it hurts..." Carsten winced and curled up, a small sob escaping his mouth. Nate could feel his heart thudding heavily. oh fuck, he thought, fuck fuck fuck what's wrong with him?  
"Brad!"  
"What? What's wrong?" He heard Brad immediately come down the hall and in an instant he was coming through the doorway. "What?"  
"Somethings wrong. He's burning up. He's in pain."  
Brad crossed the room, sitting down on the other side of the bed. "Where? Carsten, where does it hurt? You're stomach? Show me where. Ok." Brad's head snapped up and he met Nate's eyes. "Appendix. He had to go to the hospital. Now. You get the car, I'll carry him."   
Nate nodded mutely, grateful Brad was there.

 

Brad drove, no surprise. Nate sat in the backseat, Carsten laying across his lap, whimpering and moaning. Nate had felt his body stiffen, then the boy had cried out and then...nothing. He lay limp and still. No response, no matter what he'd done. Brad floored it and they were at the hospital in record time.

So they sat in the waiting room, and then another, smaller waiting room, as Carstren was worked on and brought into emergency surgery. Nate was nervous, scared. Brad was terrified. Nate could tell by his rigid posture, the way his jaw flexed and his eyes squinted. His left foot and leg bounced uncontrollably. He got up to pace, then would sit, then get up again.  
The third time he sat back down Nate finally grabbed his hand and looked into Brad's blue eyes. "He'll be ok, Brad, He will."  
Brad stared at him, and Nate actually saw fear in his eyes,. Fear and something else. Brad's throat bobbed as he swallowed and shook his head. "We don't know...Nate he could...I..." Brad swallowed again and turned his head away and Nate felt...so inadequate and useless and scared....this was not how anything was suppose to happen, goddammit, Carsten shouldn't be in surgery and Brad shouldn't have that look in his eye, and Nate himself shouldn't feel so worried and scared and uselss and incompetent and...fuck...Carsten had to be ok, that was the only viable outcome.

"I love you." Brad was holding Carsten's hand, rubbing his cheek and the boy smiled, mumbled something in response before sighing and falling into sleep. Brad continued to stare at him for a moment before lifing his head, his eyes, thos damn blue eyes and looking directly, naked and honest, at Nate.  
"I love you too, Nate. You know that, right?"  
Nate found himself nodding mutely. Because of course he did know, had always known, that Brad loved him, and Brad wasn;t someone that just gave his love away. Nate had always felt honored, chosen. But Brad was so vulnerable right now, more so than Nate had ever know him to be, it almost hurt to look at him, to hear those words.  
"I love you too, Brad. And Carsten. I...I don't..." Nate felt stupid for his lack of coherency, but as usual, as always, Brad understood.  
"I know. You should go home, get some sleep, babe."  
Nate felt his eyes fill with tears that he blinked back. After everything, all this, everything Brad, all of them were going through, how could he even think about...fuck....Nate shook his head.  
"No, you need it more...come o Brad, he's ok now, I'll stay, you need to get some rest..."  
"I'm not leaving him."  
"Neither am I."  
Their eyes met, blue against green, Nate knew if it was a battle of wills he would lose, but he wasn't going to just fold up, either. Brad was exhausted. Nate reached over, his fingers wrapping lightly around Brad's wrist. "He'll be awake longer tomrorrow, Brad. You won't be any good to him this exhausted."  
"I can't....and you can be here if I..." Brad trailed off, eyes settling back on the sleeping boy.  
"You can. He'll need you more tomorrow than he does right now. Come on, Brad, think." Nate lifted his eyebrows and saw the blonde almost visibly wilt under his scrutiny. Brad licked his lips before looking at Nate. "Yeah, ok...I...I'll just...a couple hours and a shower and then..."  
"That's fine. Just make sure you sleep, ok? He needs you."  
"He needs you too, Nate."  
Nate looked stonily at Brad and smiled. They both knew Carsten needed Brad more, but Nate would do. It didn't matter. They both loved him, he loved them both. Nate was happy with the arrangement, he kenw the truth behind it all. It didn't bother him.  
"I know. Maybe I should have Walt or Ray..."  
"I can drive myself."   
Nate sighed. He was too tired to argue, and this was the Iceman after all. "Fine. But don't fall asleep behind the wheel and crash, ok? We have enough problems."  
Brad gave him a rueful grin before leaning down and kissing the sleeping boys cheek gently. He rose, squeezing Nate's shoulder on his way out the room, but he didn't look back. Of course not. Nate sighed and looked down at the pale, sleeping boy. Thank God you're not going to die, he thought. You would have taken us both with you.


End file.
